Euro-Narnian Basic Principles

21 Jan

Some basic principle of successful Euro-Narnian* Roma projects

*Euro-Narnia is a parallel world ruled over by the mighty Baros(o)lan (Aslan is the ruler on Narnia) whose inhabitants discuss in strange and wonderful terms remedies for the Roma problem and not only.Any resemblance between Euro-Narnia and European Commission is certainly, purely accidental. Seniors can be seen similar to heads of units or directors. Royals are same level as Commissioners. Ministries are similar with Directorates Generals (DGs) at the European Commission.Peasants are the Roma.

  1. Every single Euro-Narnian financed Roma project is magnificent and represents “significant progress”. As the adoption of the Euro-Narnia anti-discrimination framework was officially presented as a “quantum leap forward in the fight against discrimination”[1] it is just normal that Roma projects could be seen as giant leaps forward.

Rumour has it that even Euro-Narnians started to be concerned about this overwhelming progress, a logical result of only[2] positive practices in the social inclusion of Roma. This massive progress triggered a series of unprecedented Quantum Leaps forward that ultimately led to a curving of time and created an alternative universe at a time prior to the First Quantum Leap. That is why the Royals, Seniors, and most Euro-Narnians live in an universe (called Quantum Leap Forward Universe) where there is an advanced state of inclusion and progress, while the rest of us are stuck in the past, where abject exclusion and anti-Gypsyism are still the norm.

There are a number of Quantum Leap Forward Principles to deal with these parallel universes that come as job requirements for Royals and Seniors:

*Words used and proposals made by Royals or Seniors should have as limited as possible correspondence with the facts as seen by peasants residing in the above mentioned parallel universe.

*It is to be expected that peasants will perceive major strategies and speeches as logical fallacies due to the fact that they live in a different Quantum Leap period. Their concerns are to be snubbed with the most Royal authority.

* Royals and Seniors need specials skills in ignoring the main issues in order to make what might seem (due to the Quantum Leap delay) completely irrelevant points proving what is rarely accurate, mostly embellished and sometimes completely imagined progress of Euro-Narnian work on Roma issues.

  1. Innovative, flexible, simple, cheap, easy to replicate and scalable methods to achieve progress and successful projects are the norm within the remarkable work of Euro-Narnians.

These methods involve the magical power of thought and will of the Euro-Narnian Royals and Seniors and their peers in the national governments. Let me give you a simple example.

Let’s pretend there was a major failure of a 30 million euro Euro-Narnian funded projects. Let’s imagine this happened due to a mix of the unpredictability of the dynamics of Roma ghettoes and communities, changes in the overall economic situation, the incompetence of those in charge to implement and oversee the projects, and the rigid design of the initial projects that did not allow changes when they were needed. Such failure, if public, would surely upset the Royals and Seniors of the country where the project was implemented and would result in significant financial penalties. This end result would embarrass the Euro-Narnians and might lead to some delays in advancements of mighty Seniors to much deserved better positions (Baroslan forbid!).

The way to make sure this doesn’t happen is thoroughly innovative and widely applied. By flexibly, simply and carefully implementing changes of wording success can be achieved. Instead of calling such a project a failure, we call it a “lesson learned.” We dismiss any attempt to call it a fiasco by explaining that it is in fact a key step towards FUTURE great achievements. Who can possibly know (besides the Queen of Gypsies, Baroslan and the Mighty Euro-Narnian Gods) what amazing positive things could result from such a “lesson learned” in the FUTURE. Who can claim that a “lesson learned” might not result in magnificent progress?

This method is cheap, easy to replicate and has been successfully scaled up as the main policy of Euro-Narnia when it comes to Roma.

(In vulgar language, this magic method is called doublethink and was well defined by Orwell[3].)

  1. Innovation, constructive criticism and adaptability to challenges at the grassroots are all encouraged, respected and rewarded. In-depth knowledge of a particular circumstance (including hands-on experience or a “worm’s eye view[4]”) is also required in order to achieve success.

There is an overall agreement that innovation is a laborious process and involves the risk of failure. Euro-Narnian Royals are inspired by their Gods, therefore there is no need of innovation whatsoever in Euro-Narnia (besides the already amazing doublethink and doublespeak[5]).

Regardless, in an act of stunning generosity, Euro-Narnia encourages innovation in others. This is done mainly through the most pragmatic and efficient Euro-Narnian mechanism: rhetoric. There are also some other more subtle encouragements that will be analysed in what follows.

Peasants and disgusting independent academics agree that Structural Funds for Roma social inclusion are designed poorly and rigidly. These vermin do not understand the magic ways of Euro-Narnia: these funds were clearly designed as such in order to stimulate innovation; it’s well known that those suffering and struggling come up with the best solutions to survive.

A critical and innovative organisation is highly rewarded in Euro-Narnia. It’s work is always doubted, carefully investigated, and questioned, as a way to help the organisation achieve even better results. As innovation rarely involves respecting rigid rules (such as those for Euro-Narnian Structural Funds) or paying lip-service to important Euro-Narnian institutions, these innovative organisations often have the privilege of paying significant financial penalties – a privilege which is fundamental for their healthy development.

It is a well-known fact that Euro-Narnian bureaucrats just Before the Last Quantum Leap hated their comfort zones and loved to be criticized. Questioning poor decisions of Seniors and Royals significantly improved chances for fast career advancement for lower rank Euro-Narnians. Most Euro-Narnian Seniors and Royals in charge of Roma issues were known to enjoy spending significant amounts of times in Roma ghettoes or isolated Roma communities, where innovation was much needed.  Neighbourhoods featuring rat-infested apartment buildings, abject poverty, high risk of migration, drug addiction and petty criminality were the preferred locations for observing innovation by the Seniors and Royals alike. Such places became so full of Euro-Narnians that most of the poor inhabitants looked for refuge, and with the help of Euro-Narnian Gods and the good will of Royals, ended up in 4 and 5 starts hotels mainly in the capitals of Euro-Narnia.

This is the ONLY reason why we now see so many meetings in places that do not make sense for vermin peasants and pedantic academics. Nowadays Roma meetings happen, appropriately, in these hotels and Euro-Narnians are unwillingly stuck with luxurious locations when it comes to study and talk about innovation in Roma communities just to prepare themselves for the times when Roma in their overwhelming majority will leave in those locations. They already do but the parallel universe in which this happens is not yet accessible to vermin questioning intellectuals and us – the unholy peasants.

Roma ghettoes and isolated communities are dynamic and unpredictable; working there requires adaptability and fast reactions. Such adaptability to fast changes is something much loved and well managed by the highest echelons of Euro-Narnia (and also by most existing bureaucracies) in the Quantum Leap Forward Universe. It is only that peasants are incapable to see this Universe ( Baroslan bless the Euro-Narnians)that brings completely erroneous nasty rumours about the ineptitude and rigidity of some Seniors and Royals.

Roma organisations that are innovative or critical rarely manage to access Structural Funds. Staff members of these organisations work for less pay and are subjected to higher risks than their colleagues accessing Structural Funds. This is indeed an important reward for innovation, as the situation of their colleagues (from organisations that are not innovative or critical) is appallingly worse. Staff at those organisations have to do exhausting grassroots work, namely writing reports or running useless repetitive trainings that pay obscenely well. Such organisations have to endure the harsh conditions of high-level meetings in 4 or 5 star hotels and expose themselves to the very high stress of boredom and cognitive dissonance. Doublethink and doublespeak remain the main causes.

There are some other marvellous Euro-Narnian principles and many examples of amazingly sensational incredibly great positive practices in the Roma field. But more about those in the next chapters of Euro-Narnia.


[1] EuroNarnian Commission on the introduction of Article 13

[2] Despite the evidence otherwise, it is still impossible to find official records of any failed Roma project.

[3] Orwell defines doublethink as “the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them. To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then, when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion for just so long as it is needed, to deny the existence of objective reality and all the while to take account of the reality which one denies – all this is indispensably necessary.”

[4] See Muhammad Yunus –Nobel prize winner on what is needed for success in development work.

[5] See George Orwell, 1984.

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  1. Learning to Speak – The Civil Animal - July 27, 2016

    […] Nicolae, a veteran of EU funding schemes and their language, much of the event is expressed in EuroNarnia, a language all its own, with an increasing number of native speakers, and with the unique quality […]

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